My mother, Penny Vine, who has died of pneumonia aged 71, transformed the adversity of her early childhood into a lifetime spent helping others feel seen, heard and valued. She believed that empathy could transform people, and spent her career in education in Leeds helping children, teachers and families develop the emotional skills to flourish. Many former pupils still remember her as one of the most important teachers of their childhood.
Her interest in emotional intelligence led her to become an advocate of “circle time”, a structured activity whereby children and teachers sit together to practise social and emotional skills, and she contributed to books and primary school curriculum materials. Later she became a practitioner of the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) process, delivering training across the UK and internationally, including in India and Canada, and helping establish a school in Romania founded on its principles in the 2010s. Whatever the setting, her aim remained the same: to help people listen, resolve conflict peacefully and recognise each other’s humanity.
She was born in Leeds to Phyllis (nee Page) and Kenneth Vine, an accountant. Her early years were troubled by her mother’s problems with alcohol and Penny claimed that she had been expelled from three schools.
By the time she had had a brief marriage, which ended in divorce, and two young children, many would have assumed her educational opportunities had passed her by. Yet she returned to study at Leeds Polytechnic, where she achieved a teaching qualification in 1987, marking the beginning of a remarkable second chapter.
Penny began teaching at Grange Farm primary school in the Leeds suburb of Seacroft, before moving to Bankside primary school in Harehills. One memorable project centred on an Irish boy buried in a pauper’s grave in Beckett Street cemetery in the city. Through his story, her pupils explored poverty, prejudice and the interpretation of history, learning that compassion mattered as much as facts.
She worked for Education Leeds, which ran the city’s schools from 2001, where she became an advisory teacher and later an adviser, helping shape practice across the city, before moving into her NVC work.
As well as her empathy, Penny was known for her spirit and delight in the absurd. Family car journeys were enlivened by winding down the window in landlocked Leeds or York, adopting a French accent and asking unsuspecting passersby for directions to the beach. Right to the end, she believed laughter and compassion belonged together.
After a stroke in 2020, she continued to lead NVC groups and worked with her close friend and colleague Cath Burke to develop workshops. Even in her final months, she seemed to come alive whenever people gathered, driven by an enduring desire to connect.
Penny is survived by her partner of 38 years, Bob Pegg, her children, Emma and me, her grandchildren, Chloe, Mica, Mia, Cai and Clara, her great-grandchildren, Alazeja, Isaiah and Ophelia, and her sister, Jeannette.
