My name is Eloise Goodie and I am destined to be a goody-goody, swot and victim of taunts and jokes for the rest of my life. What a life. What life?

Oh, who am I kidding?
Okay, I was telling the truth about what I just said, but that's just the beginning, the tip of the iceberg. No, I'm not one of those girls who says that being the recipient of downright bullying has given them a defeatist attitude, so therefore they aren't bothering to stand up for themselves. And the unfortunate name isn't a coincidence. The thing is, I'm a character from a comic strip.

Like I said, what a life.

I'm from 'The Solutions Comic', a magazine that tells kids who are bullied or have learning difficulties how to deal with them in the form of a comic strip. Sounds great, right? You couldn't be more wrong. You see, part of the reason those kids get bullied in the first place is because they actually read this thing.

What a successful business idea.

My strip is called 'Eloise Goodie's Guide of What Not To Do with Bullies'. What genius came up with that name? You could at least have made it a bit less to the point, maybe you could have glammed it up a bit, but no, no, you had to stick with the most negative, obvious, thoughtless name that decides to enter your head.

Well, anyway, I'm meant to be the girl who is perfect except looks, rule-bending and knowing what to do in a bad situation at school. I'm the one who is always being bullied by the gang of hip, stylish, clever-without-putting-in-any-effort-whatsoever girls. You know, the stereotype bullies who are the smartest in the school but behind the backs of the teachers twisted round their little fingers, they are ruthless, pitiless, merciless tormentors.

Every week, I'm drawn up being bullied and I handle it in completely the wrong way by locking myself in the loo and crying my eyes out then returning to lessons and not telling anyone (but making it completely obvious where I have been and what I've been doing, with puffy red eyes and loo roll stuck to my shoe), or I make a big fuss which is exactly what they want.

How brilliantly amazing am I?

I wish I could be Sam Rite, the best person in the best strip in the magazine. He always does the right thing – shrugs it off as if it's just one comment and tells the teacher and his parents and gets things sorted out before they get really serious. Wish I could do the same. Even the bullies read his strip with respect, whereas they read mine and burst out laughing at my unfortunate situations. My dream is to be in his strip, but I know I won't ever be.

What can I say? Even illustrators pick their favorites.

Right, now I'm off to cry my eyes out in front of the whole school and I'm meant to be in the top year.

Wish me luck.

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