I am fascinated by mental illnesses - why they happen, what they do and how people cope - so when I realised (a year after buying and forgetting about it) that A Blue So Dark was about fifteen year old Aura dealing with her mother's worsening schizophrenia, I devoured it.
Aura Ambrose is living and dealing with her mother, Grace, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia when she was 18 but now, aged 40 and refusing medication, she no longer has a handle on reality. Her husband left her a few year ago when she stopped taking her pills and is now happily remarried with a stress-free life. This is not the case for Aura.
Every day is like a nightmare if her mother is having an episode, an occurrence which becomes increasingly frequent throughout the book. She promised her mother no doctors, no mess and no dad, and she is sticking to that promise. If only it didn't mean things would be so bad.
Grace is an artist, teaching art courses which Aura attends. Her illness fuels her creativity, driving her to the brink of insanity and then pushing her over the edge until she's seeing and hearing things that aren't there. And Aura just copes with it all.
A Blue So Dark is so achingly poignant, showing the repercussions of mental illness from the side of those who have to pick up the pieces that are left strewn in the wake of disaster, the torture of never knowing when an episode might hit, whether it be at home, in the car or in the middle of teaching a class. Aura is alienated from her own mother and yet she doesn't have a moment to feel sorry for herself.
Reading this book, I went through every emotion - pitying Aura and what she endures; loving Nell, Aura's fierce and feisty boss; hating Aura's mother for what her schizophrenia is doing to her.
Driven more by the characters' actions and reactions than a plot, particularly Aura's agonising daily struggles, A Blue So Dark is a powerful, raw glimpse into the life of a schizophrenic's daughter.
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