The votes have been cast, counted and digested – and here, ladies and gentlemen, are the results:

Tales from the Mall by Ewan Morrison: 106

Pig Iron by Ben Myers: 65

The Notable Brain Of Maximilian Ponder by JW Ironmonger: 31

The Revelations by Alex Preston: 13

Life! Death! Prizes! by Stephen May: 6

Paint This Town Red by AJ Kirby: 1

The Casablanca Case by Simon Swift: 0

The mathematicians among you will already have realised that Ewan Morrison’s Tales from the Mall came in first, and by a considerable margin, making it the clear winner of this year’s Not The Booker Prize. I didn’t think it the best book on the shortlist (or even in the top four), but it’s interesting and unusual – and as democracy has demonstrated, some people feel strongly about its merits. Congratulations to Ewan Morrison.

But while we’re on the subject, let’s take a moment to consider the role of democracy in the Not the Booker. I am, I confess, still in a state of shock following the vote and the accompanying electioneering. The last 24 hours have been unusual, to say the least …

On Saturday night, I went to bed feeling that the Not The Booker had been unusually quiet this year. There had been no public authorial meltdowns. No name calling. No accusations of ballot-stuffing. The most exciting thing that had happened was that Ben Myers and Stephen May discovered they lived in the same village and went for a cup of tea together. That was nice. But where was the drama? And more to the point, what was I going to say in my roundup article?

I needn’t have worried.

On Sunday morning an email from one of the contenders started hitting the inboxes of just about everyone involved in the prize. It read:

My friends, I apologise for the group email but time is running out. Here’s an urgent plea – I’m neck and neck in this NOT THE BOOKER competition – all of the other nominees have dropped out, apart from my adversary- who, it has to be said, is published by a big multinational company, and Tales from the Mall is published by a Scottish indie. So can you help us win?

If you have nominated us in the past - Great, and thanks, but for us to win, you have to vote for us again. I know, this is horrible, and boring and no democracy could ever be based on such a voting system. But if you’d like us to win then, please either vote for the first time or repost your nomination again on the NEW page. (BTW a humorous article against this farcical process will be posted soon.)

First and second timers, the same simple strategy follows.

Go to [this page] to vote. Log in to the Guardian, go the to comments section at the bottom, find the box you can type in. Type in a variation on the words: “I vote for Tales from the Mall in the final of the Not the Booker, this is the easiest/simplest way I can find to do so - I am posting my review here - Then write 100 words on Tales from the Mall.

I’m not happy about asking you to do this, as I don’t believe that it’s the author’s job to self promote, or that voting by the net is an advance in cultural assessment. But I’m at a turning point in this whole industry – as is the industry itself - and I will not ask this of you again. My plan, if I win is to denounce the stupid voting by internet process and ask that next year they get a panel of people who understand and study books to be the judges. In the meantime though, I ask that you vote for Tales from the Mall, to support Scottish independent publishing and to give us a platform in the media to make a stand. On a personal level, if you can do this I will seriously owe you one. The deadline is tomorrow, the 14th of Oct, 10pm. This is a chore and maybe a bore, but if you can do this for me and Cargo Publishing, know that I will consider it a favour and you shall receive one in return on your asking.

Cheers

Ewan

My sides are already preparing to peel themselves apart in anticipation of the “humorous article”. But before I get down to the serious business of laughing myself silly, and leaving aside the fact that it seems curious to lobby so hard to win a prize simply in order to “denounce the stupid voting by internet process and ask that next year they get a panel of people who understand and study books to be the judges”, a couple of facts need to be corrected. No contenders had dropped out and Ben Myers (whom I presume to be Morrison’s “adversary”) is published by tiny indy Bluemoose books.

Yet we shouldn’t judge Morrison’s email on its veracity. Especially not when it’s so much more enjoyable to grapple with its logic; something our beloved regular poster AggieH did to typically amusing effect after Morrison’s eyebrow-raising email was posted on the voting pages by another commenter:

I am tickled by the notion that ... Mr. Morrison had to devise such a cunning plan.

Step 1: write a book.

Step 2: have it published.

Step 3: argue to have it included on the NTB shortlist after the NTB chairman has ruled it ineligible.

Step 4: round up everybody you can to vote for it so that it wins.

Step 5: accept a mug.

Step 6: write an exposé of the whole process.

A wag on Twitter also asked: “Wonder why author shortlisted for NTB wants expert judges to make it like all the awards that never shortlist him?”

Even so, Mr Morrison deserves our sympathy. In fact, when his message was posted for all the world to see, and it became clear that he was actually going to win to boot, I began to worry that he might be going spare with shame and embarrassment. Not wishing him to suffer further disgrace, especially since I was mindful of the pain the prize caused the author Cody James last year, I decided to drop Morrison a line offering him a chance to collect his coat. I include that message below to give context for what happened next. Which is extraordinary.

[A quick bit of background: I’d been in touch with Morrison on Sunday already, because I’d had to send him a message asking him to stop giving out my email address – and also to make his friends to stop emailing me on the day of rest. He’d replied with an apology for that and various other faux pas, hence the following subject line:]

Sent: Sunday, October 14, 2012 6:59 PM

Subject: Re: I’m gutted that I offended you

Don’t worry Ewan, there’s certainly no hard feelings on my part. I know from watching it several years on the trot how stressful the whole experience can be for authors. I’m mainly amused – just a little sorry you’ve ended up in such a pickle. If you wanted to save yourself a bit of embarrassment tomorrow and drop out I’m sure we’d be able to help you…

All the best,

Sam

I then received three replies in quick succession. I didn’t respond to any, and shan’t say anything now, except to note that Morrison did indeed get the most votes. You can judge for yourself:

Sent: Sunday, 14 October 2012, 19:13

Subject: Re: I’m gutted that I offended you

Sam, a graceful reply, which I am grateful for. Thank You. Drop out? I’m a student of Nietzsche and “culture is conflict”. What embarrassment do you refer to?

All the best

Ewan

then

Sent: Sunday, 14 October 2012, 19:27

Subject: Re: I’m gutted that I offended you

Sam,

What do you mean by “help me”? I’m a bit concerned by your tone here. All I want is a fair fight. I have ‘friends’ counting votes here in Scotland. What do you mean by “help me?” I respect what you are doing here, but if I get a sniff of unfair play I’ll be picking up the phone to [my senior at The Guardian] and the Scottish media.

I’m sure that you meant something benign by that comment. I really think you should call me so we can clear the air.

Ewan

and

Sent: Sunday, 14 October 2012, 19:39

Subject: if we win this thing, all will be erased.

Sam, Happy bunnies all will be. Understood?

Ewan

Again, ladies and gentlemen: Mr Ewan Morrison and another Not The Booker first! This prize never ceases to amaze …