My dad wasn't around when I was a child – it was just me, my mum and my older sister, Cherry. I didn't see much of Dad [the actor Tony Britton] but I was very proud of him. I used to wave to him when I saw him on TV. I knew he couldn't wave back, of course, because he was working but I was sure he could see me.

We were a theatrical family even without Dad around. Mum was very glamorous – she and my sister were extremely keen on dressing up and makeup. At fancy-dress parties, I'd be the best turned out because they'd have worked so hard on my outfit.

I grew up in an era when children weren't told the full story. When my dad remarried and we had to move to a smaller house, I wasn't told precisely why and didn't really know where my dad was or why he'd gone. With my own children it's different – I tell them everything. I say to them, "When I die I don't want you getting any nasty shocks!"

My father figure was Uncle Paul, my mother's brother. I'd spend days with him and Auntie Elsie, and he'd tell me about his experiences as a wartime pilot. They had a very homey home and I'd have lovely domestic afternoons with them if Mum was busy or away.

My dad is so sorry he wasn't there when I was a child – when I see him he always apologises and I've completely forgiven him. I think he's given me a tolerance and an acceptance of who people are, and how we have to accept their failings as well as their strengths, because we all have both. Today Dad and I are close; he's also getting to know my children more and more [twins Jack and Harry, 18, and Grace, 14, from her first marriage to TV executive Clive Jones, and 10-year-old Winnie, from her second to celebrity chef Phil Vickery]. He came to stay before Christmas and they really enjoyed having him around. An actor for a grandad is quite special!

My children aren't interested in a stage or TV career. What I'm most proud of with them is how much emotional intelligence and kindness they have. They work hard too: the boys have little jobs so they can earn some money to run their ancient cars.

I love doing girly things with my daughters. I take each of them away once a year for a weekend. It means you have proper time together one to one, to chat and have fun. The last one was a weekend in Brighton with Winnie. She was desperate to go to the nudist beach, so off we went and took off all our clothes. I did do a quick check first to make sure there weren't any cameras around.

Like many parents who've suffered from depression themselves, it's something I look out for in my children. I say to them, "If you feel things aren't right, tell me." I'll never say, "Pull yourself together" because I know it's not that simple.

My mum has always been a very strong person and as a child I absorbed her example of how you can exist on your own, how you don't need a man to validate your life. When I split up from my first husband I wasn't scared to be on my own. And we all survived really well, including my ex.

• Hidden Treasures, Fern Britton's second novel, is published on 2 April by HarperCollins, £12.99. She is presenting Preston Passion live on BBC1, Good Friday at noon