Ross Noble
Gilded Balloon Main Theatre *
Red hair, red clothes - there's even a pair of red eyes in the stage set. This makes Ross Noble look like somebody from the Wonder Stuff but gives him at least another 10 minutes of jokes (for example, one about attempting to join the Red Devils). It also provides additional fuel for the hecklers.
Where would last year's Perrier nominee be without them? Hecklers trigger off at least a quarter of Noble's set. Tonight he's blessed with a cursing anaesthetist, a psychologist and someone who describes his occupation as "being from Texas" (Noble: "Good job!"). You can't help wondering what would happen if everybody shut up. Would Noble actually have any material?
His clowning cannot disguise the cavernous gaps in this show. The red menace stretches out a tenuous tale about a Japanese fighting monks film for almost 20 minutes; the rest of the time he's running on hot air.
Robbie Williams does juvenile one-liners in interviews and doesn't earn money from them. In fact, you could hear most of Noble's jokes in any Geordie pub on any night, you wouldn't have to pay and you could even get plastered in the process. By the end of Noble's execrable hour that feels like two days, I'm thinking I could even do this rubbish myself.
Till August 28. Box office: 0131-226 2151.