Philip Hensher is the author of several novels and many short stories. He also wrote the libretto for Thomas Adès’s opera Powder Her Face and is currently professor of creative writing at Bath Spa University. His 2008 novel The Northern Clemency was shortlisted for the Man Booker prize and Scenes From Early Life was awarded the 2013 Ondaatje prize. Born in south London, he grew up in Sheffield, the setting for his latest book, The Friendly Ones (4th Estate, £14.99).

This isn’t your first state-of-the-nation novel based on two families living in the same street in Sheffield: it was also the scenario for The Northern Clemency. What made you revisit this idea?
One of the things that I really wanted to talk about was the immigrant experience, which is why one of the families in the book is Bangladeshi. It is something we don’t really talk about and is very much in my mind as I’m married to a Bangladeshi. I think in England we often pride ourselves on getting on with people who are first- or second-generation immigrants but it’s almost at the cost of not knowing very much about them.

Because we like to pretend there’s no difference between us?
That’s right, we’re terrified of asking that question “Where are you from?” I actually think “Where is your family originally from?” is a perfectly OK question but people are frightened of asking it, so we don’t find things out about each other. For instance, it was really only when I met Zaved [Mahmood, Hensher’s husband] that I started to hear about something else I write about in this book, which is what actually happened in Bangladesh in 1971 [the Bengali genocide at the hands of the Pakistani military]. I’d always had Bengali and Indian friends, but it never really occurred to me to ask, “What did your family go through?”

I have to confess I barely knew about this until I read your book.
It’s one of the least known genocidal episodes in 20th-century history. It’s a very, very raw subject for Bengalis. So I just wanted to write a book about how community and the bond between people from very different backgrounds can act as a cure for pain in the past.

One of your characters, Leo, drops out of Oxford University after being bullied about his comprehensive school background in Sheffield. Was this based on your own experience?
It was, yes. I didn’t drop out, I stuck it out, but my first year was pretty tough. I’d never been the target for bullying before and suddenly I was going through a lot of unpleasant experiences.

There is a disturbing scene where a gang of well-to-do students bangs on Leo’s door, taunting him. Did that happen to you?
Yes, it did. It was just horrible. I remember thinking, after Christmas, “I don’t have to go back there”. Then I put my iron bra on and was like, “Look, this is going to go better”. I think I made a bad decision at first. I’d been out as gay at school but when I went to university I didn’t tell anyone I was gay and I think, actually, that makes you very vulnerable. Even if people around you don’t understand that you are gay, they understand that you are shutting up part of your personality and that makes you a target. So after that, when I went to do my PhD at Cambridge I just came out on day one and I’ve been out ever since and it’s been much easier.

Another reason why Leo is hounded is that he says something offensive to a fellow student that is construed as sexual harassment. I couldn’t work out whose side you were on with that. Can you enlighten me?
I’m very interested by the question of sexual harassment at the moment and I think sometimes there are clear-cut answers and sometimes there aren’t. If somebody says to someone they’ve met the day before, “I’d really like a shag” and they say, “Actually, that’s not going to happen” and the first person says, “Oh, OK”, what should the consequences of that be? I didn’t want it to be totally black and white. Leo shouldn’t have said what he did; he made the girl feel uncomfortable. But is what happens to him an appropriate punishment?

Turning to literary matters, what books are on your bedside table?
At the moment, it’s The Adulterants by Joe Dunthorne, Peach by Emma Glass, and The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock by Imogen Hermes Gowar.

You obviously like to keep up with what the newest novelists are doing.
Definitely. I teach creative writing down at Bath Spa University and I’ve just introduced a brilliantly insane module for my MAs called Writing Now. The idea is that all the books on the course are books that are published during the course, so we have no idea what they’re going to be like when we open them.

Which novelists and nonfiction writers writing today do you admire the most?
Tim Winton, Zadie Smith. And, after an agnostic phase I’m now back on Peter Carey. I think the new one [A Long Way Home] is terrific. Nonfiction? I would always, always read something David Kynaston wrote. I love his openness to a whole range of different people. That’s what I always like in a book: lots of different lives and the way that people interact.

What book might people be surprised to see on your bookshelf?
Probably, the complete novels of Elmore Leonard. I’m obsessed with Elmore, I think he’s Mozart. What else would be surprising? I was going to say all of PG Wodehouse, but that’s probably not surprising.

Have you got a favourite literary hero or heroine?
I once had a very interesting discussion with Doris Lessing about which fictional character she’d like to have an affair with. And that’s the question I’d like to answer here. The fictional hero who I just want to embrace is Joachim in The Magic Mountain, preferably before he dies. I think he’s wonderful. He’s just kind of strong and reliable and a little bit shy. Oh, and he looks wonderful in a uniform. Also, he’s a minor character. The characters I always really like in books are never the lead, always a secondary character. Take Pride and Prejudice: I don’t know why anyone would go for Darcy when they could have Bingley. And Mr Knightley in Emma. Oh God, imagine having dinner with Knightley.

What kind of reader were you as a child?
Absolutely voracious, sucked it all in, totally indiscriminating about quality. Anything at all, from the back of a cereal packet to airport bestsellers. I went through a real Arthur Hailey phase when I was 11. It’s actually the sort of reader I still am; I will read any old crap.

Is there a book or author you always return to?
Joseph Conrad.

Any of his books in particular?
Most of them. The one that I just read over and over again is Chance. It’s very underrated. He can’t really do women at all and doesn’t usually even try but in that, there is a wonderful heroine and she’s totally fascinating and extraordinary. It was his first real bestseller. The other ones I go back to a lot are Typhoon, which is terrific, and The Secret Agent. There’s just a moment when you’re reading a sentence by Conrad and it’s just... the timing and the music of it. I love him. Also, I think he was secretly gay. There’s something about the way he writes about men. If you read [the short story] The Secret Sharer, it’s about this captain on his first command who smuggles a criminal on board ship and conceals him in his state room, and it’s just the sexiest story ever.

• The Friendly Ones by Philip Hensher is published by 4th Estate (£14.99). To order a copy for £12.74 go to guardianbookshop.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p over £10, online orders only. Phone orders min p&p of £1.99