1. What are the first names of illicit lovers Lady Chatterley and gamekeeper Mellors?

   1. Charlotte and John

   2. Constance and Oliver

   3. Kanye and Kim

2. The 1928 novel was originally published in which country?

   1. Italy

   2. France

   3. Holland

3. Ken Russell's 1993 BBC version famously starred a bare-bummed Sean Bean as Mellors, but who played Lady Chatterley?

   1. Joely Richardson

   2. Miranda Richardson

   3. Natasha Richardson

4. Which Mad Men character is seen with a copy of the book in its third episode?

   1. Betty Draper

   2. Don Draper

   3. Joan Holloway

5. Who wrote that his own sex life began "Between the end of the 'Chatterley' ban and the Beatles's first LP"?

   1. John Betjeman

   2. Alan Bennett

   3. Philip Larkin

6. In November 1960, the novel sold out its first print run of 200,000 copies on the first day of publication. How did news reports describe the buyers?

   1. "Mostly women"

   2. "Mostly men"

   3. "Bohemians and beatniks"

7. "Lady Bouvier's Lover" was a Chatterley-referencing episode of which US comedy?

   1. Seinfeld

   2. Frasier

   3. The Simpsons

8. What renders Lady Chatterley's husband Clifford impotent?

   1. War injuries

   2. A freak incident with a scythe

   3. The fact that he's named Clifford

Solutions

1:B, 2:A, 3:A, 4:C, 5:C, 6:B, 7:C, 8:A

Scores

1. 2 and above.

   A limp performance. Your knowledge is like a post-coital penis, tiny and soft like a little bud of life.

2. 5 and above.

   Decent but middling. As our heroine says, you've got to live your life or live to repent not having lived it.

3. 8 and above.

   Lady Cleverly's Lover, more like. Sexy knowledge levels. Tha's got the nicest arse of anybody.