There's something up in the state of the UK- in the Any Questions debate, Jonathan Dimbleby asked the audience who thought the country would be improved under Gordon Brown, and the answer was almost nobody. Well, I put my hand up. But mainly because I've wanted to be in one of those audible-polls since I was first born.

At Brown's own talk, Courage, apropos his book on the subject, the love was overwhelmingly with him. The hall swam with love, I thought. Every time he turned towards Mariella Frostrup (who did a good job, on balance, though I will of course be complaining about her in a minute), the collective consciousness burst with one thought. "Hasn't he got a lovely nose? I like it much better than Tony Blair's nose. I like his whole profile!"

Ok, Mariella - I've decided to do her the service of saying she was doing this deliberately: she asked the most crazily lickspittle questions. "Was Nelson Mandela as impressive in the flesh?" Well, no Mariella, in person he is the most bland little man, plus he spits when he talks. "Why does it matter to you, Africa? It's not as if it's going to win you any votes." Well, Mariella, what can I say? I just love blacks! Can't help myself.

I thought he batted this off with distinction. He can turn a conversation on a sixpence. I don't actually know what that means, but it sounds dead deft, don't it? All his anecdotes were brilliant. He is clever like a burly fox. My companion said she'd heard 50% them of before. Ach, so he has a few rehearsed stories. That's politics; it's way worse when they're not funny.

What disappointed more, and was more generally remarked upon, was the "consensus this, consensus that" guff that we thought we'd seen off with Blair. "Citizen's forums", "citizens juries", "neighbourhood wurzits", "great national debate": where did all this come from? It's such patent nonsense, for one thing, he's about the least consensual person you could devise if you were putting him together from a personality-inventory.

But more to the point, it's not even what anyone wants from Gordon Brown. At Hay! If you can't at least swing your intellect around at Hay, where can you? Why have it? And why have it, moreover, if you're just going to waste it asking for policy decisions from a "citizens forum"?

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