Goodbye to innocence? Comedian Shelby Fero, known for her quick and brilliant wit on Twitter, shared the following pieces of children’s poetry published in the section Creativity Corner of the Los Angeles Times this weekend. The poems read:
Seashells are shining. Seashells are like ocean waves. Seashells beam at night” —Christopher, aged 9
Parakeets are loud. On Friday, I take them out. They are so pretty.” — Skylar, aged 8
How sinister the parakeet poem is depends on what you understand by the term “take them out”: could Skylar, aged 8, be using it its Breaking Bad sense?
Fanciful perhaps, but then there was this more disturbing vision:
The fire is red as blood. I watch the flames go up in the air as I taste the sadness of the people whose houses have burnt to the ground. I turn back, but all I hear is the bursting and explosion of flames.” — Gabi, aged 9
Little Gabi might be the new Sylvia Plath, ventured some. Anchorman jokes ensued:
@shelbyfero @todd_coleman pic.twitter.com/IxWKqsoSPv
— Alex Griendling (@alexgriendling) February 1, 2015
The tweet has now gone viral, and others have replied by sharing their own examples of troubling verse from children – here is a poem by another Twitter user’s 8-year-old:
@shelbyfero @alexgriendling This is my 8 year old daughter's. Romans in school, WW1 war poets at home. The darkness. pic.twitter.com/wh12fDauZc
— smartestgiantintown (@smartestgiant) February 1, 2015
This prompted my Guardian colleague Fran Singh to share this poem her dad wrote, aged 12, about a dead cat – judge for yourselves:
Our readers got involved as well. Here’s Stephanie Mark’s poem from back when she was also 12:
@GuardianBooks pic.twitter.com/UBKUCkuRvG
— Stephanie Mark (@Mephanie_Stark) February 2, 2015
Thomas Ling’s verses about fart pollution were quite profound:
@GuardianBooks I'm guessing my childhood poem was making a strong social statement #pollutionoffarts pic.twitter.com/X54JsdNuch
— Thomas Ling (@ThomasaLing) February 3, 2015
Mark Patterson shared the below poem his 7-year-old wrote for her sister’s birthday – here’s the transcript:
No-one knows where he lurks
But he’s only after the birthday girl
He’ll suck blood, it’s the vampire king
He dangles off the darkest trees
You see him fall if he has a feast ...
He’ll be human once and for all
And he’ll take over the world
@GuardianBooks Here's the hand-written original. pic.twitter.com/363G7uG6ue
— Mark Patterson (@bohica) February 3, 2015
Amy Lucksted’s One Direction-hating 7-year-old wrote this brilliant piece of poetry:
Carnegie1 finds his 10-year-old’s poem “bloody depressing”, with others finding it worthy of a Leonard Cohen song:
LABette was “a cheery kid”:
Poems about mums, what a gold mine:
sfj1812’s son’s nightmarish poem:
Do you have any examples of your own, or your children’s, disturbing, unintentionally creepy or otherwise funny poems? Always from a position of respect, we would love to see them – share them in the comment thread below or on Twitter, by mentioning @GuardianBooks. We’ll include a selection in this piece.
This from my then 7 year old daughter, she was asked to write a gory poem. It may help to know that she hates One Direction.
Ingredients
Guts of a human found in a cave
Heart of a slug found in a drain
A live slug found in a garden
Hand of a human found in a grave
Six legs of centipedes
Throat of a human
Brain of a rat
Fur from a wolf
Half a spider
Head of Niall Horan
Guts of Niall
Method
Twist the rat brain and boil it. Cut the slug in half. Rip Niall's guts in two and put them in Niall's neck. Add a pinch of cinnamon.