In theory, When Harry Met Sally - the 1989 movie that launched 1,000 romcoms and kickstarted the 1990s "relationship" genre - should be a perfect stage-play. It's talky; it's smart; it's got two big leads with a couple of attractive supporting roles. It could be like a Private Lives in modern Manhattan. But instead of a stage-play with depth, range and intimacy, this production is just concerned to deliver what the public already knows and loves. Seeing this was like a coach-party drive-in video rental.
As Sally, Alyson Hannigan does an unearthly impression of the young Meg Ryan: complete with pert and self-satisfied little smirk and reedy, weedy voice. Short of dyeing her hair blonde, there was nothing more she could do.
Interestingly, Luke Perry wasn't in the least like Billy Crystal, and was able to grow into the role in a way closed off to Hannigan. Jake Broder and Sharon Small tried hard as their best friends Jack and Marie, but couldn't match the comic style and timing of Carrie Fisher and Bruno Kirby. This version had the famous "real old people" bits projected onto a screen, ingeniously explained away as Marie's own video installation, but to me it was as irritating as hearing taped music instead of live. Like everything else, it was apologising for not being a proper film.
The Great Faked Orgasm scene worked reasonably well, but looked like the fake of a fake and the legendary "I'll have what she's having" payoff was made almost meaningless by being given to a young guy Sally's age. It was much funnier as an incredulous wisecrack in the mouth of Rob Reiner's elderly mother. One real success was Harry's post-coital agony with blissed-out Sally, desperately wondering how to go home. The long silences really worked in a theatrical space. But, mostly, the action looked as if it had been pedantically flattened out onto a big 2-D screen: the staging was all weirdly like a frieze or Egyptian painting. The original movie showed two believably real people getting older over 12 years. This West-End-isation shows two famous-ish actors staying exactly the same for a couple of hours. Not the same thing.
Peter Bradshaw
· Peter Bradshaw is the Guardian's film critic. When Harry Met Sally is at the Haymarket until May 29. Box office: 0870 901 3356.
