Having effortlessly landed his second number one solo album a couple of weeks ago, Ronan Keating's domination of the infant-and-gran market had never seemed more unassailable. Some small consolation, then, that his opening night didn't sell out, each empty seat symbolising a tiny act of revenge for the gorgonzola Keating has inflicted on the public since Boyzone balladeered their way into the record books.
Or so it was pleasant to think during a gig that put the "biz" into showbiz and the wind up anybody who can't fathom his bland appeal. Possessing neither Robbie Williams's humanising self-doubt nor Enrique Iglesias's Latin machismo, Keating seemed a blank canvas - stolid, efficient, and with the soul of a chick pea.
Keating's own estimation of his soulfulness is a good deal higher, judging by his cover of In the Ghetto. He infused Elvis's most mawkish song with his unique brand of sincerity, gazing into the middle distance as if brooding over his own wasted youth on the mean streets of Chicago. Reaching the line "And his mama cries", he suddenly levitated above the crowd - you couldn't make this up - and slowly flew across the room, as a neon sign sprang on to spell RONAN. Inappropriate and ludicrous, it was a very Keating moment. Few other acts so devoid of the X-factor would chance such a klutzy juxtaposition of pathos and low comedy. But that's Keating: nothing fazes him, except his two left feet - most teen idols dance, but he gingerly shuffles.
He glided serenely through most of the current album, Destination, the one meant to transform him from teen idol to adult artist. That would explain the suit and tie and the golf anecdotes. Somehow, it's no surprise that Ronan Keating plays golf. He has been prematurely middle-aged for so long that the real surprise was the large number of upbeat songs in the set. Indeed, his one real classic, the soul-poppy Rollercoaster, inspired such a frenzy of shuffling and thrusting that for a brief moment Ronan the Mild was almost Ronan the Barbarian. But just for a moment, mind.
· At Cardiff International Arena (029-2022 4488) tomorrow, then touring.
