Age: Timeless.

Can you be a little more precise? Born 1810. Died suddenly in 1865.

Cook, wasn't she? Ignoramus.

Mix with the yolks of 36 ducks' eggs, wasn't that her catchphrase? British education! I despair!!

Fruit cake, with cherries, sultanas, extra walnuts... Oh do be quiet. She is one of the great novelists of the golden age of the English novel - perhaps the greatest.

What did she write? Mary Barton, Cranford, North and South, Sylvia's Lovers, Cousin Phillis, Wives and Daughters.

The last one sounds familiar: isn't it on TV? From this Sunday, yes, though the BBC trailers are coy about mentioning Mrs G.

What do they say instead? "From the team that brought you Pride and Prejudice."

Is Jane Austen involved? Only in the form of ace screenwriter Andrew Davies, who adapted P&P and now W&D.

What does he think of Wives and Daughters? "A masterpiece."

Hard to adapt? Mrs G died just before completing it, so Davies has had to extemporise an ending. But she left copious notes.

Other claims to fame: Wrote a marvellous life of Charlotte Brontë; her short stories, essays and letters are pretty good too.

Why did she fall from favour? 20th-century critics, in particular Lord David Cecil, decided she was motherly and parochial.

Her name can't have helped. Not a great move, posterity-wise. The BBC prefer to call her Elizabeth.

Middle name? Cleghorn. Oh dear.

Scheduling note: The first part of Wives and Daughters is on BBC1 at exactly the same time as Oliver Twist starts on ITV. They've only had 130 years to avoid this clash.

Not to be confused with: Mrs (Sheryl) Gascoigne.

Do say: "Her portrait of provincial life and of marginalised women is unmatched."

Don't say: "Let's watch Oliver Twist. I love the songs."

Above all, don't say: "Hey look, there's snooker on BBC2?"