Unpacking Potter ... Photograph: Mark A Genito/PA

Red Bull - check. More Red Bull - check. Designated caffeine-purveyor, primed and ready to percolate - check.

Here we go. At midnight tonight I will incur the hatred of a myriad milling children as I swan to the front of the Waterstone's queue for my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. One bone-jarring taxi ride later, I will be ensconced in an armchair with my laptop at the ready. For those of you who want to know how it all pans out, but can't be bothered to wade through 600-odd pages of wizardly derring-do, I'll be blogging the leviathan as I read it, fuelled solely by coffee and the steely-eyed will to survive. For those of you who couldn't give two hoots, or, worse, are murderously incensed by the plethora of Potter-related articles in circulation, the spiralling surrealism of my sleep-deprived sentences should still provide some entertainment.

JK Rowling made a rare appearance on the Jonathan Ross show on the 6th July, and was gently quizzed by the floppy-haired host as to which of the best-loved characters - Ron, Hermione, Lupin et al (not to mention the eponymous Boy Wonder himself) - might be expected to snuff it in the final face-off with Voldemort and the Death Eaters. Rowling, characteristically deadpan, responded 'Oh, it's a bloodbath.' I may yet be typing through copious tears.