It’s unwise to drill too deeply into the exact questions that come up in a GCSE paper. You can’t get a proper sense of proportion when: you most likely don’t know the answer the examiners are looking for, or anything about the subject; your kid can’t remember what they wrote anyway; and someone on TikTok has the mark scheme. But do they really? Or is it more TikTok nonsense? You’ll either get sucked into the catastrophe-vortex, or you fall into the trap of minimising, looking over your metaphorical half-moon glasses and going, “I’m sure it’ll be fine, darling,” like an Edwardian dad.

All parents and teachers know this, which is what made last week so very unusual. The English paper set by one of the main examining boards has a character question that encourages pupils to engage deeply with someone in the key text. It might not be the main character, but usually it will be one you’ve heard of.

In Great Expectations, however, they chose Herbert. Maybe you’re familiar with the story – there’s a hero, there’s a love interest, there’s an eccentric benefactor, and there’s a villain who only appears twice but is very colourful. None of these people are Herbert. There’s a kindly father figure, a mother figure, a random bad guy, a merchant and a gold-digger, and, again, none of these are Herbert.

Herbert is a nobody. He’s the guy in the wedding photo whose name people can’t remember by the 10th anniversary. He is – in the modern parlance – not A Thing. Shoehorning everything, or even anything you know about Great Expectations, through the character of Herbert is like trying to explain photosynthesis using a fingernail and some gravel. It’s been the talk of the town. I walked into a Starbucks and overheard two people of about my age going: “Who the hell is Herbert?” This is probably the most talked-about Herbert has ever been.

So, a great day for him, but a disaster for everyone else.

• Zoe Williams is a Guardian columnist