John Crace 

Travelling to Work: Diaries 1988-98 by Michael Palin – digested read

John Crace reduces the memoirs of the former Python and would-be Phileas Fogg to an extremely nice 600 words
  
  





1988 To the Nile, which looks quite Niley. My Around the World in 80 Days series might actually be quite good. To Bombay, where a taxi driver recognised me and said: “You’re that nice Mr Palin, aren’t you?” Why does everyone think I’m nice? Grrr. Phone call from John Cleese to say A Fish Called Wanda has been seen by everyone in Woking. Am much cheered. Return home to find some litter on the pavement.

1989 To dinner at The Ivy with JC, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, Michael Winner and Princess Diana and then to Bafta where I received a special award for niceness. Undeserved, of course. Start on my 19th rewrite of American Friends. Am beginning to doubt my genius. Around the World has got 17m viewers. What was the rest of the country watching? The book has sold 33,451 copies in the first week. Went down to Waterstones and observed three people asking for “the travel book by that nice bloke off the TV”.

1990 American Friends is going into production. Am worried I might not be able to convey the true niceness of my character. Alan Bennett tells me not to worry. Squash with TJ and then lunch with JC. The first rushes of AF come in. David Frost and Stephen Fry say the film is sure to be a hit. To LA in the afternoon. A reporter from the Daily Mail wants to know why I am so nice. AF opens in one cinema in Dorchester and closes the next day. Dickie Attenborough tells me it was the best film he has ever seen.

1991 To Bibendum for lunch with Robert Lindsay to discuss GBH. “How do I find the essential goodness of Jim Nelson?” I ask. He laughs and tells me to be myself. A gruelling day’s filming in which I had to remember five lines. I am exhausted. A person called Helen calls and ask when I will be home. I tell her not to be nosey, before realising she is my wife. AF is now showing in the Pitcairn Islands. This could be big.

1992 Tristram invites me to a planning meeting. The programme is to be called Pole to Pole. What’s wrong with Palin’s Pole to Pole? Only 14.7m people watch the first episode, and I am narked not to be shortlisted for any prizes for my book. I’m not sure the BBC has publicised it adequately. To Aspen for a bit of skiing and rubbish collection.

1993 Decide to write a novel about Uganda and fly there. Return and decide to write a novel about Ernest Hemingway. Title is Hemingway’s Chair. Should it be Palin’s Chair? To the BBC to record Palin’s Column and then plan a 12-part series circumnavigating the Isle of Wight.

1994 Hemingway’s Chair is not nominated for the Booker, though Margaret Drabble and Claire Tomalin tell me it is the best book they have ever read. Wait three days outside Daunts bookshop to see if anyone buys a copy. They don’t. A difficult year.

1995 TJ and JC both worried about being broke. As am I. So we go to lunch at the Connaught. JC tells me he loves my character in Fierce Creatures so much, he is going to cut him down to a few minutes. The Queen rings but doesn’t offer me a knighthood. I can’t help but be a little hurt.

1996 To Chicago to discuss my next journey. It is to be called Palin’s Pacific. I think that too long and suggest it should just be Palin. Tristram says the book should be called Full Circle. Humph. The programme will only be shown in 132 countries, and I can’t help feeling a failure. I ring up the BBC to ask if they need me to sign any books. No one answers.

1997 Nora Ephron calls to say my character in You’ve Got Mail was so brilliant, it’s been cut completely. To Bafta, where I win every award available, though Baroness Thatcher doesn’t recognise me. Everyone else tells me I’m marvellous, though. So I suppose I must be.

1998 A dull year. JC and TJ call to discuss a Python reunion but it will clearly never happen. To Rome for Christmas to pick up litter.

Digested read, digested: The Life of Michael.

• Travelling to Work: Diaries 1988-98 is published by Weidenfeld & Nicolson, price £25

 

Leave a Comment

Required fields are marked *

*

*