Nicola Morgan 

A teenage guide to stress

Blame My Brain author Nicola Morgan's top tips on how to stop the pressure of a new school year getting to you
  
  

Teen stress
There's a lot of pressure on teens at the start of a new school year – these tips should help relieve them. Photograph: Alamy Photograph: Alamy

Each school year brings new pressures but there's lots you can do to stop the pressure getting too much and make your brain and body work well. Stress is not a bad thing – in fact, it's a natural chemical reaction designed to make us perform well under pressure. But problems come when stress goes on too long or when it becomes panic. The two biggest stresses for teenagers are exams and peer group or friendship issues. If you are spending a lot of time worrying about those things, your body and brain are under fairly constant stress, so we need to find ways to reduce the negative effects. Then, your brain can work at its best and you can thrive instead of just surviving.

Here are ten tips to manage school stress this year. Each one has much more detail on my website.

1. Sleep easy

Getting enough sleep can be tricky, especially near exams, but there are loads of things you can do to get better sleep and every little bit helps. The main trick is to use the hour before bed to wind down – no work, no arguments, nothing to raise heart-rate or stress. And no phones/internet/screens! Most screens, including phones, use light that makes the brain think it's daytime. But don't lie awake panicking about not sleeping – make yourself think of nice things, such as a holiday or how you'd spend a million pounds.

2. Eat well for brain and body.

Brains need food, so don't go hungry. Trouble is, when we're stressed, it can be hard to eat regular meals and we might crave sugary food, which wrecks mood and concentration. Porridge, eggs or beans make a perfect breakfast and yogurt after a meal is great, too. Choose snacks to fuel your brain through the day: nuts, fruit, oatcakes and hummus or cheese, home-made flapjacks, for example. Try the recipes for Brain Cake and Brain Bars .

3. Switch off your phone and internet for a while every day.

Social media can be great for feeling part of a group, but being connected all the time stops you being able to relax and think. We spend so much time bombarded by questions, instructions, messages, whether face to face or online. You'll notice an immediate sense of peace when you switch off. Also, never respond to a message while angry or upset. This is really hard, but very important and will save you loads of heartache.

4. Keep reading for pleasure

People who read books for pleasure report that it relaxes them and allows them to switch off their worries. We also know that there's a strong link between reading every day for pleasure and higher grades in exams. And it's one of the best ways of winding down before sleep. So, if you love reading, keep reading. If you don't, ask your school librarian for ideas because there are books out there for everyone. Remember – it's reading for pleasure, so you don't have to read anything you don't like.

5. Have a hobby.

Think you're too busy with exams? Well, your brain will function better if you have breaks from work. And hobbies take your mind off worries, allowing stress chemicals to reduce. Some hobbies are good for making friends; others are great for thinking time; and they help self-esteem because you'll choose something you'll be good at and enjoy. Any kind of sport works well but making or collecting things or anything that allows you to use your brain differently from doing schoolwork will be just as useful.

6. Keep friendships in perspective

Many young people find that friendship and peer group issues are the worst stresses. There's so much anxiety and emotion around that it's not surprising if even good friends sometimes say the wrong thing or don't notice the effect of their words. Friendships do change, because you're all changing. Break-ups and arguments can hurt horribly. So my advice is: focus on people who make you feel good and ignore those who upset you; be a good friend but if your friends are not always there for you, remember that it's most likely to be a problem they have, and not your fault. Every stage of life will bring new friendships and nothing is forever. What hurts today will heal soon.

7. Have a laugh

Laughter makes the brain produce chemicals called endorphins, which are the body's natural feel-good medicines. Find favourite funny clips on the internet or your favourite DVD and give yourself a dose of laughter whenever you need it. Mood is directly affected by what we see and think about; so, if you're feeling low, avoid sad films or books and focus on feel-good ones.

8. Ask for help early.

Whether it's schoolwork or emotional problems, there are adults who want to help! With schoolwork, tell a teacher in advance that you need help and then fix a time when they can give it to you. On the other hand, remember that most things are hard at first, so don't stress when you don't understand new things immediately. With emotional worries, choose a trusted adult to talk to before it gets worse. And if the first person can't help, ask another. (The Teenage Guide to Stress has a lot of advice about finding a trusted adult.)

9. Breathe with your stomach

Even lots of adults don't know how to breathe properly and under stress we usually breathe wrongly even if we know the right way. So, learn this so-simple trick: put one hand on your stomach and breathe out hard while relaxing your whole stomach area. Notice the tension flood out. Then breathe in but making sure your stomach moves out as you breathe in. For a few breaths, breathe in while counting to six and out while counting to ten. Do this any time you're feeling tense. I call it stomach-breathing.

10. Remember: everything passes and everything changes.

Today's worries will not feel the same next week or next month or next year, however awful they feel now. Some worries will disappear quickly; others will take longer. Many things you will forget completely – I've forgotten every single friendship argument from my schooldays, for example! Other things you will be able to put in perspective and one day you will look back and wonder why you were so stressed. And some of the things you suffer now will make you stronger. This is an aspect of resilience: being able to bounce back from tough times.

Good luck to all of you! Be strong and do your best.

Nicola Morgan classic book on the teenage brain, Blame My Brain: The Teenage Brain Revealed and her latest The Teenage Guide to Stress are available at the Guardian bookshop. Find out more on Nicola's website.

 

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