David Grossman is a much-garlanded author and his latest novel sounds extremely interesting. The story of an Israeli mother, Ora, who sets out for a hike in Galilee with her former lover in order to avoid the "notifiers" who might tell her of her son's death in the army, To the End of the Land is out in September.

Early copies are already circulating, and some sceptics out there are poking fun at what is, possibly, the most laudatory quote ever attached to a book, which comes courtesy of the novelist Nicole Krauss. "Very rarely, a few times in a lifetime, you open a book and when you close it again nothing can ever be the same. Walls have been pulled down, barriers broken, a dimension of feeling, of existence itself, has opened in you that was not there before. To the End of the Land is a book of this magnitude," she writes. "David Grossman may be the most gifted writer I've ever read; gifted not just because of his imagination, his energy, his originality, but because he has access to the unutterable, because he can look inside a person and discover the unique essence of her humanity."

And she doesn't stop there. To read the book, she says, "is to have yourself taken apart, undone, touched at the place of your own essence; it is to be turned back, as if after a long absence, into a human being". Hmm. As the blog Conversational Reading puts it, "I think I can live without having Grossman's book touch me at the place of my own essence."

Krauss isn't the only writer to get in on the act; Paul Auster's also more than impressed, calling To the End of the Land Grossman's masterpiece. "Flaubert created his Emma, Tolstoy made his Anna, and now we have Grossman's Ora – as fully alive, as fully embodied, as any character in recent fiction. I devoured this long novel in a feverish trance. Wrenching, beautiful, unforgettable," he says.

I'm actually not sure if their fulsome compliments make me want to read the book more or less than its storyline simply did. MobyLives thinks that "the sophomoric gushing itself makes the point that sometimes, a blurb can kill you"; BookNinja that it's "overwritten [and] unbelievable".

Either way, our challenge for you today is to outdo Krauss. But we don't want to make it easy for you by letting you blurb a book which may actually be good, like Grossman's. Instead, see if you can work your magic on The Da Vinci Code. And be as grandiloquent, as pompous, as affected as possible: if Dan Brown's touched you in the place of your own essence, you really need to tell the world about it.