I'm not saying there isn't always a slew of trash emerging from the publishing industry – a point ably highlighted by the then-Macmillan chief executive Richard Charkin in 2006, when the hardback bestseller list read 1) Jade: My Autobiography; 2) Jordan: A Whole New World; 3) Ugly by Constance Briscoe; 4) The Other Side of Nowhere by Daniella Westbrook; and 5) Is it Just Me Or Is Everything Shit? – but a host of recent signings and releases seem to be taking this to a new level.

Kelly Osbourne is penning a teen help book. Jennifer Love Hewitt is writing a dating guide, which will "include everything from tips on text-flirting and how to start over after a breakup", apparently. Best of all, perhaps, Alec Baldwin is to write a book on parenting. It's ironic, he says to Playboy.

And this is only in the last few days. Already this year there's been a book of advice from Kanye West – "get use to getting used", says the rapper – Lauren Conrad off The Hills has published a novel and Miley Cyrus has written an autobiography. "There are multiple sides to all of us. Who we are and who we might be if we follow our dreams," says the teenager.

There's probably more but I'm feeling too depressed to go on. Writing a book is the new chihuahua-in-a-handbag, it seems. Let's hope the phase passes before we all suffocate under a mountain of crap.