The wife of a Tory frontbencher has written a book on the dos and don'ts of living with an MP and lifted the veil on the pressures of balancing family life with the needs of MPs' egos, constituents' demands and media intrusion.

Alicia Collinson, a family law specialist married to the Tory immigration spokesman and Ashton MP Damian Green, has called her book Politics for Partners. It might more accurately have been titled 'How to Survive Life as a Westminster Spouse'. Collinson gives tips from how to judge a constituency competition (don't) to what to say to a disingenuous journalist promising to tell 'your side of the story' after an MP or his family is thrust into the tabloid spotlight (nothing).

She reveals potential pitfalls. One is the need to think through every purchase in your supermarket trolley and watch your kids' behaviour once you're spotted in aisle 11 by a constituent.

The hints offered along the way begin with how to deal with the many constituency selection evenings. 'Always assume you are going to be seated on a raised platform with no table in front of your legs and dress accordingly,' Collinson warns. 'There is every chance you'll be photographed from an unflattering angle.

'Be wary of moaning about your life as a spouse or partner, even in fun,' she adds. 'Throwaway comments have been known to start false rumours of imminent divorce.'

· Politics for Partners by Alicia Collinson is published by Politico's Media at £10.