Increasingly I get sent books because of my blog. Whether publishers think it's hip to connect with the blog crowd or whether they're just looking to buy a large jar of Google juice, or both, I dunno.
If the book sounds interesting, I usually accept the offer. There's always a hint, sometimes strong, sometimes weak, but always an unmistakable hint of "and it would be so cool if you blogged about it, but, you know, whatever ...".
I'll be totally honest and say that whenever I have accepted the offer of a book, I have had absolutely no intention - zero - of blogging about it. And I never have. More often, I end up flicking through it in front of the TV, putting it aside five minutes later and forgetting about it.
And I expected to do exactly that when a preview copy of Trevor White's Kitchen Con arrived four days ago. But after I opened it on Tuesday, I couldn't put the thing down.
The title, Kitchen Con, is an obvious reference to Kitchen Confidential - which, by the by, has been recommended to me by more blog readers than any other book and which a friend gave me, only for it to lie less than half read next my bed for over a year. Kitchen Con is packed with genuinely interesting facts, obscure references, anecdotes, neat one-, two- and three-liners, and great quotes, such as:
Critics - even great critics - are like very bad lovers. They only come once a year, they don't care if you're not ready, they leave without saying a word and then they tell everyone what you did wrong.
"Happiness comes in small doses," says Denis Leary. "It's a cigarette, or a chocolate cookie, or a five-second orgasm. That's it, OK? You come, you eat cookie, you smoke your butt, you go to sleep, you get up in the morning and go to fucking work, OK? That is it. End of fucking list.
When Madonna tried to book a table for 10 people in one of Gordon Ramsay's restaurants, he responded by telling her personal assistant, "I don't care who the fuck she is. We don't do tables for 10. My largest table is a six." The assistant asked him if Ramsay would cook in the singer's hotel suite for £5,000. He said, "No, because I'm not a prostitute."
A recurring theme is the popularity, influence and growth of food blogs. White refers to food forums like Egullet, and he admits his own lack of knowledge about food and cooking, despite having been a food critic for donkey's years. He describes and destroys food critics, antiquated rating systems, guidebooks, sleb chefs, diners and editors in turn. Few foodies come out of KItchen Con without at least one glancing blow to the jowls and a knee to the nuts.
In a sugared macademia nutshell, what White reveals - among many other things - is what many food bloggers already know: food critics are largely full of shit, but their shit exerts a disproportionately large influence.That may all be about to change, he thinks. He sums up
There was a time when chefs were largely insulated from the sort of praise that publishers routinely receive. The web has changed all that. Press a few buttons and suddenly one is griping for Britain. Thus it is possible to boil a cook in record time. On the face of it, this knowledge spells the end of food writing as we know it - no more the nerdy clique of self-styled experts.
Fine journalists have little to fear, however, as there will always be room for shrewd analysis and lively writing; what's changed is that so much of it is on the Internet. Hence blogs with culinary themes, like the recipes of Julia Child or the cooking in greasy spoons, are hailed as literary phenomena. The laws of media are changing, as millions of readers now participate in the creation of content in a way that has no historical precedent. Eventually - after it ends, no doubt - the tabloids will call it a revolution in reviewing. It may even result in a golden age for restaurants, as owners acknowledge that in order to win acclaim, everyone must be treated as a critic.
OK, that last sentence is a wee bit utopian, but I agree with the general thrust here. One final thought this book raised (and it's no doubt glaringly obvious to Comment is free-heads): editors - ditch the usual letters page and author email address response options and open up your resto reviews. Do a Comment is free for food. Call it Food is free if you want - the dotcom is available as I type. Reviewers will be openly accountable for their words and you will give restaurant owners, diners and readers a transparent right of reply.
Sure, it'll be a boxing ring in there, but it'll be popular and useful. It may even grow into a spawning ground for future food critics.
