There was a note on the emergency message board in the main exhibition hall: "In desperate need of a Laxian key. Look for pile of tungreese."
For many, this will be a message in desperate need of a meaning. But, if there is anything to be unearthed from it, someone clutching the thick programme guide to Worldcon 2005 in Glasgow this weekend will probably be the one to find out.
The masses began gathering in Scotland on Thursday for the annual convention of the World Science Fiction Society, an event that brings together fans, writers and artists to indulge in five days of alternate realities and fantasy imagery.
Yesterday, the party was in full swing at the Scottish Exhibition and Conference Centre, renamed Glasgow Spaceport ("Earth's busiest spaceport," according to the signs) for the duration of the event.
Organisers are expecting more than 4,500 people from 30 countries to participate in some 400 hours of panel sessions, seminars, workshops and autograph signings.
Yesterday, the women visitors were outnumbered by the men - a good portion of them who seemed to have arrived directly from a Grateful Dead concert.
Against this mass of long-haired, black-clad boys, two Japanese sci-fi fans wearing vividly-coloured kimonos attracted much attention.
A third wandered around dressed as a French maid - with an oversized clockwork key coming out of her back.
But, aside from these rare examples, fan costumes and fake Spock ears were hard to find at the convention, designed to attract the more serious fans. It is an event meant to celebrate the imagination in sci-fi rather than to hype up the camp; to deconstruct the fantasy and debate actual ethical issues raised by storytellers.
Sci-fi author Peter Hamilton said: "Science fiction is not predictive. It is about exploring possibilities and having fun with them."
One panel discussed how many sci-fi stories are about discovering frontiers and what the genre has to say about invasion by other countries. Others discussed how to avoid racial stereotyping when constructing alien species.
But there was also plenty of genre's trademark humour.
Friday's session began with a talk by Tom Easton, the self-appointed "distinguished professor of weird stuff", on how supermarket tabloids in the US - with stories of pigs born with wings and students accepted into alien colleges - were taking the wind out of established sci-fi writers' sales.
"I don't think any of our science fiction people would have the nerve to write these stories," Easton said.
He suggested that sci-fi authors had plenty to learn from these ephemeral bits of entertainment, not least because of their popularity.
Several scientists also made appearances. David Southwood, the director of science at the European Space Agency, talked about upcoming visits by space probes to other worlds in our solar system, and the Open University astronomer Karl Atkinson talked about data from Huygens, the space probe dropped on to one of Saturn's moons in January.
Half way through, and the convention has shown no signs of slowing down.
Alan Lee, the artist behind the detailed imagery in Peter Jackon's Lord of the Rings films, is guest of honour on Saturday. On Sunday, the Hugo awards - "the Oscars of the sci-fi world" - will be handed out.
But before that, the main event on Friday night was theatre company Reductio ad Absurdum and their premier of Lucas Back in Anger - a homage to the Star Wars saga.
They said the play would last around a hour, or as long as people could abide watching.
Their poster said it all: "You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss an hour goodbye!"
Less conventional
Strange seminars:
Is alien genocide justified?
Genocide is remarkably common in science fiction, often promoted by nice, liberal people.
After September 11, are vampires still scary?
Why are people still writing about vampires when every suitcase might carry a bomb or a city could be poisoned?
Return of the queen: writing feminism in a medieval world
What are the chances of introducing feminism in stories of medieval times?
How do you research things that do not exist?
What are the "rules" of vampires or fairies? How do the creations of authors stack up against real biology?
