Is there life after The Osbournes

Can we survive this or not?

If we lose our great role models

What the fuck else have we got?

Is the there life after The Osbournes

Can we all survive this shock?

For we bow before the Osbournes

They're the first family of rock.

There'll be no more father figure

And the mother we all crave

Will not inspire us sinners

As her children rant and rave.

They'll be no one left to ruin us

And make us shout out loud

We need stuff that is ridiculous

To make us all feel proud.

No more sweet dog shit on our screens

No more of Jack's wet dreams

No more of Sharon's sorting out

No more of Kelly's screams

The Prince of Darkness shall no more

Struggle in the kitchen

And millions of viewers will wonder if life is still worth living.

No more watching siblings tease

No more pets with no more fleas

No more fighting those next door

No more peace and no more war,

No more pet psychologists

No more gynaecologists

No more egos to get pissed

No more of this domestic bliss.

And now the time has come

The TV crew must leave the home,

And we mere mortal viewers must

Leave the Osbournes alone.