For three weeks Myron Bolitar had been lying on a sun-kissed beach and having great sex. And feeling miserable. He looked up.

"I've got to go," he said to Terese.

On the way back to New York, Win, the handsome millionaire psychopath sidekick, explained why he had turned up. "Clu Haid failed a drugs test and is dead. Esperanza is being held on suspicion of his murder and won't talk to you," he mouthed. "And your clients are leaving your sports agency."

Myron's head spun like Jerry Maguire's. As a former drunk, Clu had been washed up as a pitcher until Myron had got him a last chance with the Yankees. He couldn't have blown it. And why wouldn't his other sidekick, Esperanza, speak to him?

He checked through Clu's phone records. He'd recently been to a transvestite club. "Time for a visit," he thought.

Myron followed the owner into the office where three trannies pulped him.

"What was all that about?"

"Local colour," Win replied. "People expect you to get into sexually ambiguous scrapes."

Myron checked his post and pulled a disk out of a packet. He put it into his computer and an unknown girl briefly appeared before dissolving in blood.

"Time to visit the Yankees."

Sophie Mayor, the billionaire owner of the ball club, let him in. He immediately did a double-take. On the wall was a picture of the same girl who had been on the disk.

"It's my daughter," Sophie explained. "She disappeared 10 years ago. Find her." Myron sighed. The plot was already improbable, but he had an inkling things were about to get increasingly absurd.

The phone rang. The transvestite club owner wanted to take him to meet someone. "You didn't expect to see me, did you?" said Billy Lee Palms, removing his blonde wig and brandishing a shotgun. Myron hadn't seen him since that car crash. A shot rang out and Billy Lee fell dead.

"I've no idea what's going on," said Myron.

He checked the phone records. Suddenly it was obvious. Esperanza had been having an affair with Clu's wife. It explained why she wouldn't talk to him. But why would Esperanza kill him?

Myron checked the phone records again. Suddenly it was even more obvious. He went to see Sophie.

"I know everything," he said. "That time 10 years ago when I bribed the police officers to get Clu off a drink-drive charge. It wasn't just Clu, his wife and Billy Lee in the car, was it? Your daughter was there too. But she died and the two men covered it up."

"Very cleffer," Sophie cackled maniacally. "For 10 years I have plotted my revenge. I haff bought ze Yankees only to employ Clu so I could build him up only to throw him on ze scrap heap."

"I'm off to see my Mum and Dad," Myron replied.

The digested read ... digested

Just an everyday tale of normal law-abiding, cross-dressing psychotic New Yorkers