When and how it first started no one will ever know. Nor will I know whether it began while I was there. Perhaps those floorboards I heard creaking and doors shutting and closing in the dead of night were not simply the groans of an old house. Perhaps Mary Stewart [former matron of the Barnardo's home] knew why Gilbert Norris [her successor] had been transferred from the home he ran in Cardiff, and that may be why she tried to get so many of us children moved before he arrived. It's for Barnardo's to say whether they have files on what happened and to explain why they turned a blind eye for so long.

Certainly, I did not realise the rows and beatings I suffered were designed to make sure I would remain keen to leave the home. Norris wanted the older children out of the way.

Norris began sexually abusing those that remained. Carmen, who I had taken for walks, taken blackberry picking and organised little tea parties for, was one of his victims. Perhaps it started when he found her alone in the bedroom and went in to comfort her.

He abused little Shania too. She was a sweet and shy girl whom I'd also spent a few years with in the home. Shania didn't like Norris turning up in her bedroom after lights out. She didn't like what he did to her either. There came the day when Shania collected every bit of courage that she could gather and complained to Norris's wife. "And I know he does it to the other girls too!"

A few days later, Mrs Norris got all the girls together in her office. She closed the door and began: "Shania says that Mr Norris is being too affectionate to the girls. Has anyone anything to say?"

Susan squeezed her younger sister's hand hard. The room was silent. Shania looked over at them, her eyes appealing to the elder sister. "Please, Susan, say somethin'. You know what 'e does to yer and yer sister. I've seen 'im in our bedroom with yer. I've heard you cry. Tell her. Tell her!"

Susan had her eyes fixed on Marjorie's shoes: "Don' say anythin' Marjy. Don' say anythin'. Keep yer mouth shut. He'll split us up again. He'll send you away." Carmen was staring at the wooden desk that Captain Hook [Mr Norris] made her sit on when he wanted to find his way inside her. "'E said he'd send me to a remand 'ome if I said anythin.'"

But none of these words were spoken. Shania felt her face blush. She was on her own. "That will be all then," said Captain Hook's wife.

After the meeting, Shania went up to the sisters and asked why they had said nothing. "We were frightened. Norris told us that if ever we breathe one word about what 'e was doing to us that 'e would 'ave us split up again."

It was Shania who finally told one of the nurses about Norris. "If you don't believe me, you can see for yourself. Come up to our bedroom after lights out."

At nine o'clock, the nurse from Wales tiptoed down the corridor as quietly as the creaking floorboards would allow. She swiftly opened the door and, to her horror, there he was on the bed with Shania. Norris turned round, zipping up his trousers and hissed at the nurse: "Get out!"

Morning came and, after breakfast, Norris ordered nurse Gwendolyn into his office. One hour later, Shania and Carmen saw her coming into the hall with her bags. The nurse went over to Shania, put a small piece of paper in her hands and whispered: "He's told me to leave." She took her bags and left with Shania's hopes.

Shania went into the playroom and unfurled the scrap of paper. On it the nurse had written: "If ever this goes to court, here's my number." But Shania was 12 and didn't know anything about courts.

The nurse heaved her bags down the drive. Tears streaked down her face. She took one look back and saw Norris watching her from the playroom window.

· All names have been changed.

· The Golly In The Cupboard, by Phil Frampton, is published by Tamic (£7.99).