Playing with Fire is a perfect title for this book because I have always been a fiery character and have always played cricket with passion. I don't know any other way. I never dreamt that all the hard work and sacrifices I made would pay off. But, to go to the end first, two things made me realise that everything I'd achieved counted for little. The first was the tragic death of Ben Hollioake. The second was the behaviour of the England and Wales Cricket Board over the Zimbabwe leg of the South African world cup. I was contracted to remain silent then, but now the gloves are off. The ECB made me ashamed to be English.

I was born in India and my dad, Joe, continually pushed me to achieve the cricket goals that were beyond his own meagre ability. Some have said he pushed me too hard and many was the time I was in tears. But he remains the single most important influence on my cricket and I dedicate my career to him.

Believe it or not, I made my name as a leg-spin bowler when we moved to Essex, but I lost the art and had to reinvent myself as a batsman. It was a struggle and like everything in my life I really had to graft to succeed. I was delighted when Essex began to take an active interest in me, but I had to work hard to cement my place in the side.

I got the England call-up at a relatively early age, but I really struggled to fit in. My temperament was quite fiery and people marked me down as a troublemaker. I also didn't score that many runs. I've always said people put far too much store by runs scored. I judge my performance by the amount of matches I helped win. Which wasn't a lot, come to think of it.

The few years I spent in the Test wilderness were a big struggle and I battled to find my form. But once I got back and scored 200 against India I was fine. I remember being really in the zone that day. I was obviously desolated for both Athers and Stewy when they resigned the captaincy, but I was happy to support them and hugely honoured to be awarded the top job.

My captaincy style was very different to theirs, but I make no apologies for being fiery. I loved the times I shared with Thorpey and Goughy, who was always the first name on the team sheet. I also had my run-ins with players and selectors, such as fat Gatt, who hated Thorpey, but I took that as part of the job. The worst bit was losing my form for a year. I considered resigning, but Tres said, "We know you're crap, but you're still our captain." I was immensely touched.

Eventually it all became too much and I resigned, but I was delighted to support Vaughany. And what a way to end your career - running out the new hero at Lords. What a high! So it's off to the commentary box; should be more interesting than this.

The digested read ... digested

Nasser struggles with just about everything, including the English language.