What is it? Bill Clinton's kinda town.

For the plentiful booze and chance of cigar-wielding fornication? Hardly. The remote Welsh border town of 1,300 has a bookshop for every 32 inhabitants, and its annual festival is, according to the former US president, "the Woodstock of the mind".

Did one of the town's 39 bookshop owners place empty cigar boxes and Ms Lewinsky's autobiography on display when Clinton visited? She did, but director Peter Florence prefers a "festival of ideas" slant.

Is that why Ken Dodd spoke in 2001, Macy Gray performed in 2002 and disarmingly surly Irish bawler Van Morrison has favoured the Black Mountain town with a set this year? What if it is, chippy?

I ask the questions. How many Guardian people are there this year? One for every 32 visitors.

How many visitors are expected this year? At least 70,000.

So you're being silly then. Er, yes.

Which top literary turns are going to draw the crowds this year? Canadian poet turned dystopian visionary Margaret Atwood spoke on Saturday, dystopian visionary Don DeLillo yesterday, and dystopian visionary turned funnyman Christopher Hitchens is due on tonight.

Run that one by me again. The bequiffed controversialist has a gig called Late Night Hitch. He's billed as "Lenny Bruce meets Wodehouse" and sponsored by Tyrells Potato Chips.

Ah. Anything in the Intellectual Rigour department? Edward Said, AC Grayling, Steve Jones, Eric Hobsbawm and Linda Colley.

What about Unscheduled Licking? Covered: Phil Nichol has done a show called Things I Like I Lick, featuring such-liked things as Travolta's legs, his hometown and his friend Sharon.

Do say: "The Richard Sennett lecture clashes with the Anthony Beevor talk. What is a thinking person to do?"

Don't say: "It's one o'clock. Let's go and heckle David Starkey."