Is your bottom oversized? We only interrupt the war
To ask in case this blubber, like Clare Short's prodigious bum
And bosom, should represent some kind of moral flaw,
Just as it does in verse by Tony Harrison.

Though impressionistic and some say cruel besides,
Assessment of her sexual characteristics
Can be the most convenient of guides
To where a woman stands on coalition tactics.

In men it's not so clear - neither Bush nor Blair is podgy,
Ditto wicked, scrawny Rumsfeld, though Saddam is plump.
Regarding war poets, research so far is dodgy,
Could we send our Mr Harrison to measure up your rump?