Expecting Terrorvision to live up to their name by being either terrifying or visual would be asking too much of a band whose primary selling point is a boozy bonhomie best embodied by 1999's fluke number-two single, Tequila. The only British group to parlay similar qualities into an A-list career were the Faces, who had the advantage of Rod Stewart as vocalist in the days when he was sexy.
Terrorvision have neither a Stewart nor a particularly distinctive sound, so even their brush with the top of the charts didn't stop EMI Records from handing them their P45s when their next single collapsed outside the top 40.
They have since signed with a smaller company, where Cliff Richard is a labelmate. They boast that they are the evil to Cliff's good, which, if this tour-closing date is a barometer, is pure fantasy. Leopard-shirted singer Tony Wright and his ramshackle Bradfordians caper on to an old salsa tune and proclaim themselves delighted, grateful, etc, until the evil tally stands at Cliff 1, Terrorvision 0. Still, bearing in mind that everyone in London who can name any of their 14 other singles is here tonight and there's still room to mosh, the foursome put on a plucky show of bravado.
The reason Terrorvision have always been the bridesmaids of UK pop-metal is illustrated right in front of us: despite the accessibility of their chorus-heavy songs, they could be anyone from Aerosmith to the pub band next door. Even their crack at Eminem-style misanthropy, Sometimes I'd Like To Kill Her, is neutered by the predictability of histrionic verse-chorus-middle-eight. Tequila, played without benefit of studio mariachi effects, slips into anonymity, only the refrain "Tequila makes me happy, gives me a high" distinguishing it from a cover of Five's Keep on Movin'.
Terrorvision do, it must be said, have a passionate following who already know the words to the single D'Ya Wanna Go Faster just two days after release, and raise their hands as one when Wright hits the rumbling crescendo of Oblivion. One girl's response is more visceral - she simply screams. As long as they can provoke such rather bewildering emotion, Terrorvision will be with us for a while yet.
