Age: 35-ish.

Weight: 9st 1lb (poor).

Cigarettes and calories: Too many (v bad).

Status: Celebrity singleton. (Still?! Why? Why?)

Units: 1m and counting.

That's an awful lot of glasses of white wine in Cafe Rouge. It's an awful lot of books sold, more like. Top of the bestseller lists for yonks, Bridget - BJ to her fans - has been the publishing phenomenon of the decade. As if you didn't know.

V, v good for Helen Fielding, its author. Smug author, you mean. Fielding's fictional diary has sold by the barrel-load on both sides of the Atlantic. It is being made into a film rumoured to star Kate Winslet as every single woman's favourite single woman.

But is she still a singleton? I thought the dashing Mark Darcy, he of the novelty socks and cruel-faced ex-wife, had put paid to that. Well, we'll soon find out. Bridget is back. After some understandable persuasion from Picador, her publisher, Fielding has written a sequel, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, to be launched at a v posh party next week.

Sounds like a dark tale of psychological trauma, more Elizabeth Wurtzel than Adrian Mole. Funny you should mention Britain's other favourite diarist. Bridget has a walk-on part in Sue Townsend's sequel to the original Secret Diary, when Adrian spots her in a cafe, and notes: "That woman is obsessed with herself!" But Bridget will have the last laugh if she knocks Adrian Mole: The Cappuccino Years off the top of the Christmas bestseller list.

Not to be confused with: Straight Talking by Jane Green, Does My Bum Look Big in This? by Arabella Weir, Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married by Marian Keyes, Ally McBeal, Candace Bushnell, every unattached woman in her thirties...

What they say: "What a boring, dithery twit" - Camille Paglia. "If I saw Helen Fielding again I'd slap her" - Julie Burchill.

What's their problem? They need more inner poise.